The Starting Line
Yesterday, I rode my bicycle into Busan, completing a five-day journey that was relatively flawless—no flat tires, no major issues, just the open road and my thoughts. Along the way, I had small conversations with locals, moments of kindness that only surfaced when I took the first step to engage. One encounter that stood out was with a 90-year-old woman who seemed cold and distant at first. When I approached her, she slowly walked away, leaving me to think I had offended her. But moments later, she returned with two cups of coffee. She didn’t say much, just gestured for me to go on my way. It was a simple, powerful moment that reminded me of the importance of being first.
The Path
Being first isn’t always easy, especially when living as a foreigner in South Korea. There’s a part of me that hesitates to approach people outside my friend group or work circle. I worry about making them uncomfortable, mainly because of the language barrier. Even though I speak Korean, they assume I’ll speak English, and that creates a barrier of its own. But this hesitation isn’t just about language or culture. It’s a deeper layer of my personality—I’ve never liked approaching strangers, even back home.
Yet, something changed when I took the first step. Whether it was offering help or simply starting a conversation, I noticed that people responded positively when my intention was pure. I’m tall, I don’t look homeless (yet), and I don’t have any deformities, which means people will probably be receptive or at least entertain my request. In these situations, I’ve realized that breaking through stereotypes and making genuine connections often starts with being the first to act.
As a teacher, I’m forced to lead; it’s my role. But when given the option to fade into the background, I often take it, especially if there are others who are more willing or eager to take the lead. It’s a defense mechanism, a way to avoid the discomfort of standing out. But this journey, both on the bike and in life, has taught me that stepping up—being first—can lead to unexpected and meaningful connections.
Interestingly, yesterday, someone who had seen me in group settings for a while finally discovered that I was American. They had assumed I was Canadian because they associated Canadians with being approachable and kind. It wasn’t the first time I’d been mistaken for a Canadian—in fact, a few years ago, a group of my students thought the same. They told me that the stereotype of Canadians is that they’re nice and approachable, which is why they assumed I was one. It was a small victory in breaking the stereotype that all Americans are selfish and individualistic.
The Finish Line
The deeper you go, the more you realize that life is like a game of poker, filled with layers of perception, bluffing, and reading the room. Just as in Texas Hold’em, it’s not just about what cards you hold; it’s about what others think you’re holding. Sometimes, you have to play the hand you’re dealt, and other times, you have to bluff your way through. But what matters most is that you’re in the game, that you’re willing to take that first step.
Take a look at the previous blog post here:
So, keep going about your business, aware of the stereotypes but not controlled by them. Laugh, enjoy life, and remember: it’s not just about the cards you hold—it’s about controlling the uncontrollable. Next time you find yourself in a new place or situation, take a moment to reflect on the stereotypes at play—both yours and others.
Be first.
Lead with pure intentions
Watch how the world opens up in response.
Stay Liberated,
Peace be the journey,
-Ace
One Way Grit 