The Starting Line
In my youth, I was overconfident, bordering on cocky. I believed that a good house, a loving family, and financial stability were easily attainable, almost guaranteed. This naive optimism was rooted in a comfortable upbringing with supportive parents and a secure environment. But somewhere along the way, I lost touch with reality and balance. My fascination with “The Secret” and the power of positive affirmations led me to believe I could manifest anything by merely thinking positively. It was a mindset that overlooked the value of effort, circumstance, and a realistic grasp of my limitations.
The Path
Vipassana, which translates to “seeing reality as it is,” has been instrumental in my journey. My first 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat taught me that while understanding reality intellectually is easy, truly embracing it in practice is a lifelong challenge. The experience allowed me to live inside my mind, observing my thoughts and the constant distractions that pull me away from the present moment.
Ironically, my graduate program in positive psychology, which I thought would reinforce my optimism, made me more skeptical. It wasn’t just about staying positive but about embracing the full spectrum of human experience, including failure and doubt. This shift in mindset led me to explore my limits through physical challenges like marathons and long-distance cycling races.
One significant turning point was a 112 km trail run, where a knee injury forced me to confront the differences between discomfort, pain, and injury. These lessons, learned through personal experience, taught me that growth often comes from navigating these nuances. It’s not just about pushing through but knowing when to pull back.
Yet, I still find myself caught between excessive positivity and deep-seated doubt. Confidence, especially in academics, was an ongoing struggle. Years of drifting through high school and college without much effort left me feeling inadequate. It wasn’t until I pushed myself in grad school, achieving a near-perfect GPA, that I began to rebuild my academic self-esteem. Still, the doubt lingers.
Now, as I navigate the latter half of my 30s, I crave a more balanced approach to life. My tendency towards all-or-nothing thinking—whether it’s extreme sports or immersing myself in South Korean culture while staying connected to the United States—often leaves me oscillating between extremes. I’m learning to seek that middle ground where I can be fully present without burning out.
The Finish Line
Balance isn’t a destination; it’s a continuous process. It involves accepting where I am, understanding my limits, and discerning when to push forward and when to hold back. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned, it’s that true growth happens in this pursuit of balance.
To cultivate a balanced life, we must embrace our strengths while recognizing our weaknesses. We need to practice mindfulness to stay grounded in reality, set realistic goals, and avoid the trap of all-or-nothing thinking. Above all, we should remain connected to ourselves and the world around us, fully engaged in the present moment.
Stay grounded,
embrace the journey,
and remember:
growth thrives in balance.
Peace be the journey,
-Ace
One Way Grit 