The Starting Line
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my instinct to assume people don’t like me when we first meet. If I sense even a hint of discomfort, I close off, a defense mechanism against the sting of rejection. But this habit creates barriers, keeping me from forming genuine connections.
The Path
I’ve noticed this pattern often mirrors my inner insecurities. A slight change in tone, a look, or an unreturned smile can trigger thoughts like,
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Am I too much?”
It’s easier to expect the worst than to open myself up to being liked—or disliked. This mindset, however, often leads me to withdraw and create the very distance I want to avoid.
Interestingly, in Korea, I find it easier to push past this hesitation. The discomfort of language barriers forces me to be comfortable with mistakes and misunderstandings. Yesterday, I asked a Korean man where he was from, only to find out he was from the same city I used to work in—an incredible connection that only happened because I made the first move.
In English, my native language, I often feel more pressure to get things “right.” But the truth is, connection isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. Whether speaking Korean or English, the challenge is the same: to be genuine and open, even when it feels risky.
The Finish Line
Moving forward, I aim to stay open and resist the urge to retreat at the first sign of discomfort. Not everyone will like me, and that’s okay. The goal is not universal approval but authentic engagement. When I choose to break my shell and step into the unknown, I discover new layers of myself and others. If you also find yourself closing off or assuming the worst, challenge that instinct.
Ask yourself:
Is this about them, or is it about me?
What might happen if I stay open a little longer?
Stay curious, embrace vulnerability,
and remember:
the richest connections often lie
just beyond our comfort zone.
Peace be the journey,
-Ace
One Way Grit 